Paul Ekman, a leading scientist on Emotion speaks with HHDL on overcoming the obstacles and specifically on Forgiveness and Anger.
An excerpt from their conversation can be found HERE.
Some of what was discussed involves questions like, Can we forgive people, but still hold people responsible for their actions? or How can anger be non-afflictive, but constructive?
The Dalai Lama states that “Grudges produce suffering, forgiveness is good for the people who forgive”. Negative feelings towards those who do us wrong will only produce suffering, but one should most definitely criticize those who act wrongly.
Anger can be constructive as “Force for the action and compassion for the actor”.
I like this. Criticiize those who act wrongly, but hold no grudges; “forgiveness is good for the people who forgive.”
Now, if I could carry this in my head as well as in my heart, I can start with forgiving any grudge I hold against my Self. There! I forgive me.